+ -= s.o.p.h.i.s.t.i.c.a.t.i.o.n =- +

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All I want is to be who I want to be
To breathe the air that gasp mi free
To live the dreams my mind conceived
To see the world in love and peace

Let us not take love for granted
For many awaits the touch for hopes and inspirations
Dream. Dare . Do
Let the sun burns through the horizon and the stars to sparkle
Face each day with a smle for others
Never let yesterday's disappointment overshadow tomorrow's dreams....

*-=__It is not about loving a perfect person...
...but to love an imperfect person perfectly __=-*

***__________. dreams of the sparkled stars____::***

::_memories unforgottened_::
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
November 2004
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
October 2005
February 2006
March 2006
November 2006
December 2006
December 2007
May 2008

Saturday, June 19, 2004

||||| c r y s t a l . t e a r s |||||

||||| c r y s t a l . t e a r s |||||

.:: Song playing::.- Crystal tears by Scott Williams

Today started off pretty well but ended off pretty bad. Its both totally not related, but mayb cos its unrelated, but when compared, makes the big difference in my feelings for both.

In the morning, went down to Steven's road YMCA to help out in the heartzlink jumble sale. Realli cool manz... my first time and realli excited abt it. Yar, saw many people that i've not seen for long. Other than shawn whom i've seen more then often (haha), saw ximei,shu hui, andy, thomas, kenny, cherrie, jasmine, ronghui, uncle jim, timothy, Tracey and vick. Oh, got to know this guy hu's oni sec1, kok siang from YSP, veri nice and friendly guy. Yar...Tok to Vick, realli miss him manz~ Still as caring as ever, asking mi how am i nowadaes. Dunno why juz can feel this special concern when tok to him ever since last time. The nicest guy I've ever noe. Miss those days where after volunteer outings or wadever, taking bus home together and he will walk mi home, or we will share cab and he will always send mi home first. Will always feel so motivated when toking to him and secure when wif him. Oopse haha~ sound like i like him or something, haha juz that he's realli veri nice larz...

Yurpz, then went lunch wif shawn, uncle jim and two new japanese friend of Shawn's at Scotts. Noe that Japanese guy from the Youth Forum, but juz got to met his wife. Realli funnily fun people. Loving couple. Though there's language barrier, but still had a happy lunch together. Haha regret not going for the International Sports Carnival at Penang manz....so fun and can meet so mani fun people.

Yeah~ back home, when i on my comp to check my email, everything great today no longer significant. Email filled with msges of councillors posting their thoughts and comments about wat happened yesterday on the council blog. Read through everything one by one and tears juz incontrollably filled my eyes. I dunno, its this feeling that im realli sad. Admit, rather disappointed and unhappy at some of the comments.I tink no wan can understand my feelings now. No one. Even I myself dunno how to sae it. Why has the council that has brought mi so much beautiful memories become so political and stuff. I mean, can call mi immature or watever, can't everything b juz so pure and simple? I noe we can't turn back things that has happened, but haven the friendships that we haf built strong enough to pervent things from happening even before we start regretting it?
Everyone that has posted or commented has a point in one way or another,but everyone is too so engross in saying what they feel. Like Everyone wans to tok but no wan is listening. I got so many things that i want to post on the council's blog too, but wasn't able to log in.

Nvm ,tink even if i manage to log in, i also dunno how to say what i want to say and what i feel into words. Moreover, this time, watever has happened has one way or another concerned mi in a pretty personal way. Dun tink i can stay neutral or rational in my words. Dun want to post things and cause more commotins, shall juz keep my commands to myself to reflect upon it. But mayb if there's a chance, juz want to clarify some stuff.

Yeah` another bad thing that happened is the failure in pushing for the council cd-packaging. Make mi go through so much work and now everything is scrap. A bit angry and disappointed, bcos this time not only has affected mi alone, but my dad and his work. Think back, only giving budget for cd, then why the hell ask mi to be in charge of packaging since there is no budget for packaging. Why gif mi a responsiblity to make mi put effort into it and ended up feeling not needed and not neccessay? I juz hate the feeling of bringing somewan high up then let the person fall. (Bad memories from gym last time). Why is it repeating again?!?!

ArgH!Juz want to end the council term wif something realli nice for council, At least the best i tink i can gif. but wif all that has happened. Im realli tired. Tired of everything that is happening around mi. Tired of being the angel peacemaker. Tired of giving my best.

Juz tired. I wan to give up.Im soooo tired. Not the first time im going through this and I hate it. Everytime u feel so great, like u are the happiest person in the world and holds the most beautiful memories, then it follows with darkness that blinds everything else. Falling from a higher spot is always more painful and dangerous. I hate this feeling. How i wish can get back the simple life that i've longed to have.
.:: chris feels::.confused.lost.hurt

::__. eXquisTic . SoPhiStIcaTion____::
Saturday, June 19, 2004